My Friend's House

Recently, I have witnessed more loss in the community I used to be closely involved with, particularly among those experiencing homelessness. It has deeply upset me and led me to think further about the lack of a strong community support system. Most of the six plus individuals I have lost in the past six months were either surrounded by people struggling with addiction like they were, or they were socially isolated. They were either trying to help others despite their own trauma, or they were so focused on themselves that they had no concern for others.

I understand the instinct for survival, but it’s a very sad and difficult way to live. In reality, it’s not really living; it’s just surviving.

Now that I work with the working poor, I see the same pattern. The only difference is that these individuals have a place to live. They live from one paycheck to the next, some are on a fixed income, and some have low incomes. However, what’s similar is that for most of them, it’s about surviving indoors. Some are escaping domestic violence, some are trying to find their way after experiencing chronic homelessness, and there are also isolated elderly individuals. They either continue to stay in touch with their homeless, fearful, and isolated friends, or they are themselves isolated from their friends and family.

As we are inherently social beings, we long to belong. When we don’t belong to something greater than ourselves, we struggle. We don’t develop and grow. We don’t thrive. We don’t overcome challenges. We remain trapped in negative situations, settling for far less than what God intended for us.

This weekend, I lost a dear friend to a fentanyl overdose. When I first met him, he was in his early twenties. He had a beautiful smile and was very polite. However, he didn’t have a healthy, supportive, life-giving community, as far as I knew. As he grew older, he became ineligible for youth housing programs. Eventually, he went through terrible experiences on the streets. In response to his pain, he turned to using fentanyl.

I also received a message from someone this weekend who was in urgent need of clothing and food as he was planning to enter a recovery program. He didn’t know who else to turn to, so he reached out to me. He, too, did not have a healthy, supportive, life-giving community.

Then there’s my neighbor who is fighting addiction, trying to stay sober on his own. He has access to a healthy, supportive, life-giving community, but shame prevents him from being open and seeking the help he needs.

All of these situations could have turned out differently if there had been consistent interaction with a healthy community. People to lovingly hold them accountable, and at times, distract them from the poor decisions that we all might make. Genuine community, like that found in the church, offers more than just being around people. It provides connection, contribution, collaboration, commitment, and culture.

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